its old news, its old news, its party time, its excellent!

12|19 Celebrating.
The one month aniversary of not updating this site. woo hoo. This was pointed out to me by Dan today. Be sure to check out his south park christmas spoof in the interactive zone too. Very cool, and I play Cartman. That's where he complained about updates...OK, I get the picture.
You want something interesting... well, had a blast down at Balboa Island with the boys this weekend. Made contact with Bus41 for a Glamis trip soon. Have to hit the river with Johnny's boat when it gets warmer too. Incriminating cruise pictures are up at, John's site. I deny all knowledge of any of the activites in which I may or may not have partook. Is that a word? :)
Also, dumped the Tallan icons. It's been long enough, and I don't know if I'm stiull linked on the intranet either...
11|19 Recooperating.
If I thought my knee wasn't rehabbed before I do now. Dancing for 5 hours straight every night on the ship...eating constantly...drinking up a storm...and now when I want to recooperate tonight....U2 at Staples center. Might see the crew of people on Bus 41 again...once we started getting loud we had a blast. Much bigger blast than the water shooting up through "La Bufadora"....a little spout of water Ensenada sucks tourists in to go see after walking through a gauntlet of shops who all have a "special deal for you only today my friend".
11|08 Lucky For Me
Something interesting enough for a post has come up, which saves me Casella's inevitable "it's been like over a month since you posted" comment. Just under a month Mikey.
There's a new asinine bet. A member of the Kinko's team has bet he can eat 11 whoppers! I'm 250 lbs. and i probably couldn't eat 4. The bet is up to $300 bucks, which suprised me. A year ago this would have been a grand easy, but me and Craig decided that must be the economy deflation acting itself out.
Also, I'll be hitting the ocean on a cruise to Mexico next weekend. You don't care, but I do.
10|11 Bert Stalks Usama
New hope for the war on terrorism...they are really stupid. Collecting images from the internet, manufacturers of Bin Laden posters inadvertantly allowed for a very very angry image of Sesame Street's Bert to make its way into posters they printed. A creative photoshopper no doubt added Bert in there. You can see Bert here, here in a protest, and here as well. Now thats funny. If bert only had a knife...
10|09 Some R&R
Spent 3 days at Lake Mead just outside of Vegas. Met a great bunch of guys through my friend John who will be marrying one of my best friends Hera. Congrats! The big day is April 13, 2002. I'll have a website up for them very soon (I'ts my wedding gift, so I have the toughest client in the world...a bride.)
09|28 Disney Locked Down.
I had lunch @ Disney Studios today. Alot of security presence there for sure.
My friend Hera told me the hilarious story of when she told her little niece that she worked in the same building as the 7 dwarves. (click here to see why). She said, "you mean, right with them, really?", to which Hera replied "yes". Then her niece said softly and concerned..."You work in the mines?"
09|27 Canada steps up.
Long known for its...umm, well, I'm sure Canada has done something. Like, it's huge. Anyways, their Defense Minister hinted that Canadian commando's are secretly operating in Afghanistan.
In a journalistic coo CNN couldn't even produce, I've managed to get a picture of one of their super secret surveillance technology platforms in action.
09|25 Hitting Home.
I had dinner yesterday with my friend Linda. We spent alot of time together back in college. I sat there and listened to the story how she looked out a window and say paper flying down, and thought to herself, "wow, its a ticker tape parade". And I listened to her describe her thoughts as her parade gave way to balls of flame cascading down from above. Of how she made her way down a stair case that seemed to be falling over, that knocked her down. Why she went from the 61st floor to the 44th to get a soda right before the plane hit. How she looked down to avoid tripping, and ended up avoiding someones blood.
Linda looks just as beautiful as I remember, and had the same big smile & energy. But I realized neither of us were the same as I tried to relate some of the feelings I had about 9-11 to her, and falling woefully short of grasping what she really went through.
09|24 Fluff.
For those of you that are fans of the Alan & Tyronne series, which is posted here, you can catch Alan's actor on "The Chris Wylde Show" on comedy central. Pretty funny, very loose and irreverant show.
09|23 Run Forrest!
I finally ran for the first time since my surgery yesterday. My therapist said I couldn't, but I think she babies me. It felt damn good.
Had sushi today in the same room as Sergeant Mac Eliot of "Predator", who, if I had approached,would have said, "Your ghosting us mother fuc*er, I don't care who you are back at the sushi bar, you give up my position one more time I'll bleed you, real quiet, and leave you that?".
09|19 Moving Forward.
I've had my logical little brain working over time trying to understand and comprehend the events of last week. I've watched alot of the reporting going on. As a student of Comm. I have watched the reporting and especially the rhetoric being put forth by the press. I actually read Woody Allens position on the attacks today. What the hell does Woody Allen have to say?? Celebrities have no expertise... and should be ignored. They are superfluous entertainment, the icing on the cake meant as a distraction to real life... not to be considered leaders or sources of political more so than your grocer down the street. There's so many different aspects of this week that I'd like to comment on, but asinine has never been a platform for those discussions. It has always been a place where I told of the time spent with friends and a couple rants here and there. Which makes me think of last Thursday.
I spent last Thursday at 7 for 2 or 3 hours with all of my neighbors for blocks holding a candle and waving a flag at cars that were driving by and honking. The camaraderie and patriotism was really touching and really got to me. I hope that the commonality that has made those mentioned here such good friends is also made of the same glue that will hold this country together in this trying time.
09|11 Deeply Saddened.
I awoke this morning to disbelief that what I was watching was actually happened. I am completely overwhelmed by awe and helplessness. May those who have fallen or lost loved ones find some peace in this tragedy.
08|23 Away from the office.
I hath made my triumphant exit from the office in Irvine. I may be back some day, who knows. It was a great year 1/2. What a wild ride. There's some stuff on the horizon that looks fun. Till then, I'll be polishing up ol' portfolio.
08|07 Back to the office.
I hath made my triumphant return to the office in Irvine. Posted some pics of my new car (that animated one to the right). In a bout of asnine behavior I flew down to Florida last month with my bro to pick it up and drive it back. Why across the country to get a car?...well, there's only 741 of this particular model. I like's it alot.
07|28 Knee Surgery sucks.
It started so nice, sweet nurses, a few deep breaths listening to Dave Matthews, and I don't remember a thing. I woke up in such a daze the nurse had to remind me to breath. Then it hurt. Man did it hurt. Took vicodine. Didn't make me feel good like everyone has said...just made me nauseous. All the while I have to spend 6 hours a day on a machine that bends my leg to new degrees of flexion. Not fun hitting those new degrees. Well, I have no appetite; maybe I'll loose some of those Tállan pounds everyone gains.
Also, posted a few pics of me & the knee.
07|16 And they're off...
Frenchie and the tortoise race across the Golden gate Bridge in Joe's 2nd great essay "Lapin".
Also, added 3 more of my two favorite ESPN guys commercials from ad critic. See it all the way to the right under "Alan & Tyrone".
06|26 All your 3000GT are belong to me.
Launch all spyder for great justice.
Someone set us up the beer.
Also, the family of the already deceased fish have asked that no more flowers be sent, and that instead a donation to a local fish charity would be appreciated.
Also, Figured out the water I was putting in was bad. Using filtered drinking water for the fish now. Might do the trick. Lets all keep praying.
06|25 God indeed may have forsaken me. Concerned well wishers from all over the world have been pouring in support for the Chairman, my last fish, as he is in bad shape now as well. Clearly a fault in the design of the tank, the nitrates have shot through the roof. $40 bucks later, I hope he makes it.
06|22 It is a sad day. Dean, one of my fish, has passed away. Sammy passed not 2 weeks ago. The chairman is still alive and well, but lonely. I will make a trip to the pet store and ask them why God has forsaken me.
Also, I'm changing the site a little bit. If you noticed, the sidebar has changed in IE 5.5, and some tables are cooler now. I love CSS.
Also, Till he gets his server up and running IS the weakest link!
06|21 I heard a car ad today that actually claimed its vehicle had a "perfect sense of the moment". Are people really so numb to ads that they don't notice how stupid that is. What the hell does that mean!?!
06|07 It is indeed holy Joseph; The fall of Netscape. Once the love of a designer, Netscape had all the cool stuff. Then IE blew it away, and actually worked. I tried to stay loyal, but 90% of my headaches were attributed to that stupid browser. Well now it's over. Netscape is "out of the browser business". I remember posting a /. comment that if people wanted, I'd shout suggestions to Netscape as I drove by their SJ headquarters. A very popular thread ensued. Good bye old friend. You sucked for a long time.
06|05 If you're keeping track at home; I'm up to 1 screwed up front left knee, and one screwed up front left tire.
Also, the Improv RSVP list is posted right next to us in a hideous orange color. If you aren't there, email me ASAP. I really have a little more time to make the reservation, but not much.
06|01 Now that we have a server... I'm slowly getting the long due pictures up. Here's some Civil Disobedience@Chinese New Year in SF.
05|31 Patient says to the doctor, "Is what's wrong with my knee bad?" says, "Well, it's so rare we're not even sure we're pronouncing it right". Ugh. Well, the good news is that I got my MRI back quickly, and even got a doctor to call me about it soon, which is next to impossible. The bad news is i completely tore my ACL.
Also, now that we have a server new pictures will be going up. We've had some great trips VIP style lately, and I've got alot of pics sitting on my HD...none of which are of people longingly holding hands, wondering where life will take them as their love blossoms.
05|30 Good to be back. After some failed attempts to find a server we are finally back with all the pics. I also batch processed them all to be around 30k instead of 530k. Nice of me, isn't it?
Also, a few moral events coming up. We've got Jami's sendoff to Montana tomorrow at Garf's (Shark Club afterwards), and a night at the Irvine Improv featuring dinner, drinks, & Bobby Slayton. I'm currently having a heated discussion with the webmaster of because he seems to think there's nothing wrong with the site. It's so bad...
05|16 Girls are evil. Never before has a proof been made. Never has a refutation come so quickly as well. I think we can all agree that Will is too smart for anything less than Vogon construction.

05|01 Not yet... requests for the VIP picture section are coming in; it'll feature the pics & tales of the gallivanting across OC...but alas, the server is not quite ready.

04|27 Well... what can I say. I already miss most of the people that were here from the beginning of this site, NetApp, etc. I hope we can all stay in touch, be it from other projects, moving on, etc.
Also, temporarily, Asinine has lost it's host and more importantly, its mad web space. I'm working on a site that may give us a dl of 120k constant (nice!), and hopefully that will up within the week. Till then, only htm files...the pics will have to wait :(
04|23 Bruce Lee ain't got nothing on this guy. Here's a great flash animation. What's most impressive is the fluidity of the moves. I can't believe some of the stuff this guy did. Very nice. Check it out here.
04|06 No way in hell. In a blow to my ego, Todd has asserted that Persian Gulf war general Norman Schwarzkopf could beat me in a 1 on 1 paintball war. This is 67 year old Norman. I'm insulted.
Also, there is talk of the megan/vegan bet starting next Monday. Starting @ $500, and decreasing $20 per day to a stop of $ the death, or the pain.
04|04 Soooo much asininity to report. News from the world; US spy planes are ramming helpless, less maneuverable Chinese fighters. The white house says that this will revolutionize wartime air tactics, and has ordered 12 747's to replace their front line fighter compliment.
Also, & are must sees'.
03|27 Ahh, the bench. Turns out asininity is alive and well on the bench as evidenced by the Megan vs. Vegan bet. Evan has to go all Megan, eating and wearing only animal products. Galvin must only eat and wear plant products. I can't wait to see the leather and hemp outfits. Evan claims Galvin can't drive because he'd be exploiting the dinosaurs, that make up some of the fuels...ahh, I missed this.
03|05 We thought it would never end. The no soda vs. no chocolate bet ended last weekend when Joe forgot about the bet and had some gatorade, ironically, a drink he doesn't even really like. It doesn't amount so much to caving into the strains of the bet as much as forgeting about the eternal bet, but cheers to Deb anyway, who is no doubt on the phone with See's right now.
Also, do not try this 25 miles above your home.
03|02 Asinine "suffers"!... at the hands of so called "requirements". These "requirements" are supposedly being funnelled in by "clients" forcing long hours and no "updates". Until this "stops", gratuitous "quotes" will be used to "accentuate" things such as "words", and "phrases", thereby heightening its so-called "importance".
Also, Its in the hearts of us all here at NetApp. Yes, "All your base are belong to us". (it's, flash, music, photoshop, & fun).
02|21 I've been busy... But I got another bet for ya. The Ted Danson Bet. Why? I have no idea. No idea at all.
Also, Added some CSS to the site. Man 'o' Man does it look different in all the browsers. having fun tweaking it, but some things may look pretty wierd, just so you know...NS 4.7 is way too small, IE5 is perfect, NS6 has some interesting BG table issues. Odd stuff.
02|13 Pretty Cool. My good friend has let me know that our site was visited by 60 minutes reported Ed Bradley. This effectively moves everyone who has ever visited the site down one notch away from the "#1most famous person who has ever visited asinine" spot.
02|08 It shocked everyone... but who knows exactly how it could have happened? Even Dan didn't know Tolga's thoughts, and Tolga certainly didn't know Dans...but one man did. And he tells his story of Four Days for asinine.
Also, added a pictures nav.
02|07 Finally... with all of Tallan wondering who to pray to, the vatican announces this.
02|06 Java is NOT JavaScript... but I like to tell all the developers it is. Man that bugs them. Dave Hackett proposed to the CSG that we show him just where we "Found JavaScript". The results we're pretty funny. Thanx to Lynn Chau, our former (missed) NetApp designer has put together a great presentation of all the entries.
02|05 "It was either them or me": Aside from Brian"The Lady Killer" Semprie shooting 3 girls at point blank range in the infamous "Massacre at the Tower", paintball went great. Check out the paintball pic's.
02|3 Quickie: The asinine forum is up. enjoy. I'll clean it up later. Go register and post something.
02|01Weight bet shocker!As you can tell by our little splash, Dan has won the weight bet! Tolga gave up his demanding lead in the last moments of the 3 month long weight bet as Dan posted and incredible 8.5 pounds in 4 days to take a .25% lead over Tolga. Dan has redeemed himself in the eyes of the bet world for continually missing the #1 mark in grand style. More information will be here as it trickles in. Tolga ended up with a total 45.5 lbs. loss. That is insane. SoCal weights will come in as they are tallied.
01|31 No honor? Again? Say it isn't so! There's rumors that the SoCal contingent of the weight bet might consolidate their basement rankings to equally loose in third place. This would put Tolga and Dan, NoCal guys with the current lead, as the winners. Are we to revisit to the soup bet which ended with Todd and Joe opting both out of the bet, and out of honor?
Also, Matt submitted paintball critical info for your perusal. Directions, carpooling, prices, etc.
Also, Asinine has broken the 2000 mark. We all simulataneously ask the same question; "why?"
Also, Matt has called out Joe, sending taunting emails for paintball. Joe has responded with Schwartzennerian anger. Will a bet come of this smack talking? We dont know.
Speaking of calling people out, Phong called out Matt for a Cup of Noodles Bet. All cup of noodles brand noodles, 24/7, last man standing wins. Matt raised the stakes, cutting out smoking amongst opther things. Phong agreed immediately. Matt backed off. Will Matt take it? We await his decision.
01|24 More people confirming for paintball. up to 21 now. I'm dissapointed the new guys "can't" play. Clearly they are elitest and don't want to "stoop to our level."
01|23 Asinine Warfare #4 at Paintball Jungle is shaping up to be quite the event with 19 confirmed and 11+ maybe's. Apparently the great stories and pics from last time have sparked a lot of interest. It's February 4th. Be sure to email Matt if you're interested.
01|22 Submit to me. Thank you to the masses for submitting the following for your viewing pleasure: Mike Wang brings us the MarketTools Pre-Rolloff Dinner pics, and Whiny Byatch Justin sends some asininity abroad here.
01|19 And the horse you rode in on. We have 2 new guys coming up to NetApp on Monday. How asinine these guys will prove to be is up in the air. Lets hope they stir up the pool a bit. Also, one of CSG's guys Dave Hackett tied the knot last week. Congrats Dave, and my condolences Ms. Dave. Check out the quicktime stream of the wedding. Also, get your RSVP's into Matt for Paintball Feb 4th.
01|16 I lagged, but we be representin' now. Check the Halloween Vegas Pimp n' Ho party pics from Irvine's Diana.
01|16 Cue that Boyz II Men song. Lynn left our NetApp family here yesterday to go grace the bench, and my cubicle seems very very empty right now. We will all miss her. Check out the pics from her send-off drinking binge.
01|15 Don't ask us for the five 9's. Welcome to our high-tech Angelfire mirror while Tolga straightens out his DSL company. Weight area will be down till the server is back up. Tolga will be flogged ever 15 minutes till the server is back up. Then we will go back to our "every hour" schedule.
Update: Site is back up. Flogging effective.
01|14 Two words...Vegas. The scourge to our bank accounts calls once again. With 2 trips coming up, today I finally got Clark's pics up from the New Years Vegas trip.
01|12 Back to the trenches... Asinine warfare returns to Paintball Jungle on Sunday February 4th. Last time we had about 16 people - this time we're looking for at least 20. If you know people who would be interested forward this on. Deadline for RSVP is Thursday the 25th. Contact Matt Allen by email to let him know if your coming.
01|10 The best form of flattery... I dreaded the day the rest of the CSG would discover my little site. In the culmination of a reported Powerbook frenzy to get the new G4's ordered for some mischievous East Coasters, "extreme-asininebehavior", a parody of our beloved asinine, has been created.
01|09 Personalize your AIM Tallán style...I've made a few buddy Icons to the right here ->. Just click on them and AIM will automatically set them as your new Icon. Enjoy.
01|08 Riddle me this Batman... What do you get when you have brilliant minds working on an asinine website? Features that are way to cool for this joke of a site. Check out this press release from Tolga, our resident web host:

"In the wee hours of the morning, I finished the interactive portions of the Asinine Behavior Weight Bet Site!

For all users, the site gives the ability to place side bets on who will finish in a particular position. For participants, the site lets you enter your weight info and change profile info. Referees get to update Official Weigh-in and Weigh-out values for all participants. Have Fun! (I'm hoping to see a lot of side bet action :-) )"

2 words...Nice.

Also, On my second day of training in CT I was in the elevator making small talk with the other passenger. I asked Him if he worked with BDS. He said yes. I said "great, nice talking to you, maybe I'll see ya around." After I got off the elevator someone asked what I was talking to Jack Hughes about. I said, "Who?". That's the first time I met Jack, just didn't know it. Anyway's, Jack Hughes will at Garf's in Irvine on Tuesday@7:30. Quite the nice down to earth Millionaire.
01|03 It wouldn't even be remotely fair... How bad would NoCal annihilate SoCal in a paintball duel? Do decimation scales even go that high? Also, Vegas pics are here. Just my cam though. Need those digitals in!
01|02 Happy New Year! Vegas was incredible. Gotta give George Tip props for pulling together a crazy night at C2K on the dance floor in a special VIP section. House of Blues was great works outside, the whole 9. What an insane weekend. More to come on that when I get the pictures back. Irvine people, be sure to get your pics on photo disc and send em to me so I get them on the site.
12|29 Vegas Baby! This update come to you from the beautiful Burbank airport as I await my flight to Lost Wages...err, Los Vegas I mean. I imagine this update won't come till after the new year, shortly after I recover from New Years festivities.
12|27 Fa-la-la-la-la. I hope everyones Christmas was as jolly as mine. I got the pics from Diana from Pimps & Ho's and when I get a moment I'll post 'em. Looking forward to going to vegas this weekend. Saturday at the private balcony of the Venetian's C2K, and New Years at a Mandalay Bay Mardi Gras party in The House of Blues. (Thanks to Jaime in Irvine for hooking all this up!)
Also, Changed spellings of Cuhbelu'z name at his request. ;)
12|23 Wassabi!!! I finally got the story written on the plane last night. I tried to make it descriptive enough that you'd have some idea of what it's like to shove a raquetball size wad of wassabi in your mouth...enjoy.
12|21 Asinine goes public?!? Asinine executives have OK'd a request from Craig Condon for to be linked on the Tallan Intranet. For those of you not familiar with asinine, this site has always been a somewhat private site for the Tallan NetApp team and some to share, which is I'm sure why some of the more embarrassing pics up have remained up. It really is just a little side project I threw together for fun, and it gets updated for a few seconds a day at most. If you listen closely you can hear the screams of Netapp project members screaming in the distance as they realize some of these pictures are going to be viewed from the outside...
Update: Diana of Irvine fame has promised some pic's from the hugely successful Vegas trip to Pimp and Ho. (A annual party for Halloween put on by Club Rubber). Site hits should jump to about 30,000 a day.
12|20 Pic-a-tures! Tolga's Heavenly pics are here. Oddly, no pictures of snow yet. Shawn's are on the way soon.
12|15 Asinine bet flashback? Rumors are abound about a Mike Kabella re-try of the milk bet. Is he insane? Consensus says yes. Absolutely. No doubt.
12|12 Fat checks in but it doesn't check out: Time to weigh in big boys. The weight bet area is now open. Also, Turned paintball ani down to a non-epileptic frame rate for Matt.
12|11 Pic-a-tures! There's Nothing like shooting a co-worker in the head to brush off some post code-freeze tension. Be sure to check out Tolga & the frenchman's Paintball pics!
12|05  The proteria is our friend: Day 8 of the protein pact to help Dan w/the weight bet. Looking forward to paintball & the Heavenly ski trip..& the alcohol laden limobus!

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