The one month aniversary of not updating this site. woo hoo.
This was pointed out to me by Dan
today. Be sure to check out his south park christmas spoof in
the interactive zone too. Very cool, and I play Cartman. That's
where he complained about updates...OK, I get the picture.
You want something interesting... well, had a blast down at
Balboa Island with the boys this weekend. Made contact with
Bus41 for a Glamis trip soon. Have to hit the river with Johnny's
boat when it gets warmer too. Incriminating cruise pictures
are up at vipthelifestyle.com,
John's site. I deny all knowledge of any of the activites in
which I may or may not have partook. Is that a word? :)
Also, dumped the Tallan icons. It's been long enough, and I
don't know if I'm stiull linked on the intranet either...
If I thought my knee wasn't rehabbed before I do now. Dancing
for 5 hours straight every night on the ship...eating constantly...drinking
up a storm...and now when I want to recooperate tonight....U2
at Staples center. Might see the crew of people on Bus 41 again...once
we started getting loud we had a blast. Much bigger blast than
the water shooting up through "La Bufadora"....a little
spout of water Ensenada sucks tourists in to go see after walking
through a gauntlet of shops who all have a "special deal
for you only today my friend".
|11|08 Lucky For Me
Something interesting enough for a post has come up, which saves
me Casella's inevitable "it's been like over a month since
you posted" comment. Just under a month Mikey.
There's a new asinine bet. A member of the Kinko's team
has bet he can eat 11 whoppers! I'm 250 lbs. and i probably
couldn't eat 4. The bet is up to $300 bucks, which suprised
me. A year ago this would have been a grand easy, but me and
Craig decided that must be the economy deflation acting itself
Also, I'll be hitting the ocean on a cruise to Mexico
next weekend. You don't care, but I do.
|10|11 Bert Stalks Usama
New hope for the war on terrorism...they are really stupid.
Collecting images from the internet, manufacturers of Bin Laden
posters inadvertantly allowed for a very very angry image of
Sesame Street's Bert to make its way into posters they printed.
A creative photoshopper no doubt added Bert in there. You can
see Bert here,
in a protest, and here
as well. Now thats funny. If bert only had a knife...
|10|09 Some R&R
Spent 3 days at Lake Mead just outside of Vegas. Met a great
bunch of guys through my friend John who will be marrying one
of my best friends Hera. Congrats! The big day is April 13,
2002. I'll have a website up for them very soon (I'ts my wedding
gift, so I have the toughest client in the world...a bride.)
|09|28 Disney Locked Down.
I had lunch @ Disney Studios today. Alot of security presence
there for sure.
My friend Hera told me the hilarious story of when she told
her little niece that she worked in the same building as the
7 dwarves. (click
here to see why). She said, "you mean, right with them,
really?", to which Hera replied "yes". Then her
niece said softly and concerned..."You work in the mines?"
|09|27 Canada steps up.
Long known for its...umm, well, I'm sure Canada has done something.
Like, it's huge. Anyways, their Defense Minister hinted that
Canadian commando's are secretly operating in Afghanistan.
In a journalistic coo CNN couldn't even produce, I've managed
to get a picture of one of their super secret
surveillance technology platforms in action.
|09|25 Hitting Home.
I had dinner yesterday with my friend Linda. We spent alot of
time together back in college. I sat there and listened to the
story how she looked out a window and say paper flying down,
and thought to herself, "wow, its a ticker tape parade".
And I listened to her describe her thoughts as her parade gave
way to balls of flame cascading down from above. Of how she
made her way down a stair case that seemed to be falling over,
that knocked her down. Why she went from the 61st floor to the
44th to get a soda right before the plane hit. How she looked
down to avoid tripping, and ended up avoiding someones blood.
Linda looks just as beautiful as I remember, and had the same
big smile & energy. But I realized neither of us were the
same as I tried to relate some of the feelings I had about 9-11
to her, and falling woefully short of grasping what she really
For those of you that are fans of the Alan & Tyronne series,
which is posted here, you can catch Alan's actor on "The
Chris Wylde Show" on comedy central. Pretty funny, very
loose and irreverant show.
|09|23 Run Forrest!
I finally ran for the first time since my surgery yesterday.
My therapist said I couldn't, but I think she babies me. It
felt damn good.
Had sushi today in the same room as Sergeant Mac Eliot of "Predator",
who, if I had approached,would have said, "Your ghosting
us mother fuc*er, I don't care who you are back at the sushi
bar, you give up my position one more time I'll bleed you, real
quiet, and leave you here...got that?".
|09|19 Moving Forward.
I've had my logical little brain working over time trying to
understand and comprehend the events of last week. I've watched
alot of the reporting going on. As a student of Comm. I have
watched the reporting and especially the rhetoric being put
forth by the press. I actually read Woody Allens position on
the attacks today. What the hell does Woody Allen have to say??
Celebrities have no expertise... and should be ignored. They
are superfluous entertainment, the icing on the cake meant as
a distraction to real life... not to be considered leaders or
sources of political commentary...no more so than your grocer
down the street. There's so many different aspects of this week
that I'd like to comment on, but asinine has never been a platform
for those discussions. It has always been a place where I told
of the time spent with friends and a couple rants here and there.
Which makes me think of last Thursday.
I spent last Thursday at 7 for 2 or 3 hours with all of my neighbors
for blocks holding a candle and waving a flag at cars that were
driving by and honking. The camaraderie and patriotism was really
touching and really got to me. I hope that the commonality that
has made those mentioned here such good friends is also made
of the same glue that will hold this country together in this
|09|11 Deeply Saddened.
I awoke this morning to disbelief that what I was watching was
actually happened. I am completely overwhelmed by awe and helplessness.
May those who have fallen or lost loved ones find some peace
in this tragedy.
|08|23 Away from the office.
I hath made my triumphant exit from the office in Irvine. I
may be back some day, who knows. It was a great year 1/2. What
a wild ride. There's some stuff on the horizon that looks fun.
Till then, I'll be polishing up ol' portfolio.
|08|07 Back to the office.
I hath made my triumphant return to the office in Irvine. Posted
some pics of my new car (that
animated one to the right). In a bout of asnine behavior I flew
down to Florida last month with my bro to pick it up and drive
it back. Why across the country to get a car?...well, there's
only 741 of this particular model. I like's it alot.
|07|28 Knee Surgery sucks.
It started so nice, sweet nurses, a few deep breaths listening
to Dave Matthews, and I don't remember a thing. I woke up in
such a daze the nurse had to remind me to breath. Then it hurt.
Man did it hurt. Took vicodine. Didn't make me feel good like
everyone has said...just made me nauseous. All the while I have
to spend 6 hours a day on a machine that bends my leg to new
degrees of flexion. Not fun hitting those new degrees. Well,
I have no appetite; maybe I'll loose some of those Tállan
pounds everyone gains.
Also, posted a few pics of me
& the knee.
|07|16 And they're off...
Frenchie and the tortoise race across the Golden gate Bridge
in Joe's 2nd great essay "Lapin".
Also, added 3 more of my two favorite ESPN guys commercials
from ad critic. See it all the way to the right under "Alan
|06|26 All your 3000GT
are belong to me.
Launch all spyder
for great justice.
Someone set us up the beer.
Also, the family of the already deceased fish have asked
that no more flowers be sent, and that instead a donation to
a local fish charity would be appreciated.
Also, Figured out the water I was putting in was bad.
Using filtered drinking water for the fish now. Might do the
trick. Lets all keep praying.
|06|25 God indeed may have forsaken me.
Concerned well wishers from all over the world have been pouring
in support for the Chairman, my last fish, as he is in bad shape
now as well. Clearly a fault in the design of the tank, the
nitrates have shot through the roof. $40 bucks later, I hope
he makes it.
|06|22 It is a sad day. Dean, one of my
fish, has passed away. Sammy passed not 2 weeks ago. The chairman
is still alive and well, but lonely. I will make a trip to the
pet store and ask them why God has forsaken me.
Also, I'm changing the site a little bit. If you noticed,
the sidebar has changed in IE 5.5, and some tables are cooler
now. I love CSS.
Also, Till he gets his server up and running shawnmcnair.net/com
IS the weakest link!
|06|21 I heard a car ad today that actually
claimed its vehicle had a "perfect sense of the moment".
Are people really so numb to ads that they don't notice how
stupid that is. What the hell does that mean!?!
|06|07 It is indeed holy Joseph;
The fall of Netscape. Once the love of a designer, Netscape
had all the cool stuff. Then IE blew it away, and actually worked.
I tried to stay loyal, but 90% of my headaches were attributed
to that stupid browser. Well now it's over. Netscape is "out
of the browser business". I remember posting a /. comment
that if people wanted, I'd shout suggestions to Netscape as
I drove by their SJ headquarters. A very popular thread ensued.
Good bye old friend. You sucked for a long time.
|06|05 If you're keeping track
at home; I'm up to 1 screwed up front left knee, and one
screwed up front left tire.
Also, the Improv RSVP list is posted right next to us
in a hideous orange color. If you aren't there, email me ASAP.
I really have a little more time to make the reservation, but
|06|01 Now that we have a server...
I'm slowly getting the long due pictures up. Here's some
New Year in SF.
|05|31 Patient says to the doctor,
"Is what's wrong with my knee bad?"...doctor says,
"Well, it's so rare we're not even sure we're pronouncing
it right". Ugh. Well, the good news is that I got my MRI
back quickly, and even got a doctor to call me about it soon,
which is next to impossible. The bad news is i completely tore
Also, now that we have a server new pictures will be
going up. We've had some great trips VIP style lately, and I've
got alot of pics sitting on my HD...none of which are of people
longingly holding hands, wondering where life will take them
as their love blossoms.
|05|30 Good to be back. After
some failed attempts to find a server we are finally back with
all the pics. I also batch processed them all to be around 30k
instead of 530k. Nice of me, isn't it?
Also, a few moral events coming up. We've got Jami's
sendoff to Montana tomorrow at Garf's (Shark Club afterwards),
and a night at the Irvine
Improv featuring dinner, drinks, & Bobby Slayton. I'm
currently having a heated discussion with the webmaster of bobbyslayton.com
because he seems to think there's nothing wrong with the site.
It's so bad...
|05|16 Girls are evil. Never
before has a proof been made. Never
has a refutation come so quickly as well. I think we can all
agree that Will is too
smart for anything less than Vogon construction.
05|01 Not yet... requests for the VIP picture section
are coming in; it'll feature the pics & tales of the gallivanting
across OC...but alas, the server is not quite ready.
|04|27 Well... what can I
say. I already miss most of the people that were here from the
beginning of this site, NetApp, etc. I hope we can all stay
in touch, be it from other projects, moving on, etc.
Also, temporarily, Asinine has lost it's host and more
importantly, its mad web space. I'm working on a site that may
give us a dl of 120k constant (nice!), and hopefully that will
up within the week. Till then, only htm files...the pics will
have to wait :(
|04|23 Bruce Lee ain't got nothing
on this guy. Here's a great flash animation. What's most
impressive is the fluidity of the moves. I can't believe some
of the stuff this guy did. Very nice. Check it out here.
|04|06 No way in hell. In
a blow to my ego, Todd has asserted that Persian Gulf war general
Norman Schwarzkopf could beat me in a 1 on 1 paintball war.
This is 67 year old Norman. I'm insulted.
Also, there is talk of the megan/vegan bet starting next
Monday. Starting @ $500, and decreasing $20 per day to a stop
of $200...to the death, or the pain.
|04|04 Soooo much asininity
to report. News from the world; US spy planes are ramming helpless,
less maneuverable Chinese fighters. The white house says that
this will revolutionize wartime air tactics, and has ordered
12 747's to replace their front line fighter compliment.
are must sees'.
|03|27 Ahh, the bench. Turns
out asininity is alive and well on the bench as evidenced by
the Megan vs. Vegan bet. Evan has to go all Megan, eating and
wearing only animal products. Galvin must only eat and wear
plant products. I can't wait to see the leather and hemp outfits.
Evan claims Galvin can't drive because he'd be exploiting the
dinosaurs, that make up some of the fuels...ahh, I missed this.
|03|05 We thought it would never
end. The no soda vs. no chocolate bet ended last weekend
when Joe forgot about the bet and had some gatorade, ironically,
a drink he doesn't even really like. It doesn't amount so much
to caving into the strains of the bet as much as forgeting about
the eternal bet, but cheers to Deb anyway, who is no doubt on
the phone with See's right now.
Also, do not try this
25 miles above your home.
|03|02 Asinine "suffers"!...
at the hands of so called "requirements". These "requirements"
are supposedly being funnelled in by "clients" forcing
long hours and no "updates". Until this "stops",
gratuitous "quotes" will be used to "accentuate"
things such as "words", and "phrases", thereby
heightening its so-called "importance".
Also, Its in the hearts of us all here at NetApp. Yes,
"All your base are belong to us".
(it's, flash, music, photoshop, & fun).
|02|21 I've been busy... But
I got another bet for ya. The Ted Danson
Bet. Why? I have no idea. No idea at all.
Also, Added some CSS to the site. Man 'o' Man does it look different
in all the browsers. having fun tweaking it, but some things
may look pretty wierd, just so you know...NS 4.7 is way too
small, IE5 is perfect, NS6 has some interesting BG table issues.
|02|13 Pretty Cool. My good
friend has let me know that our site was visited by 60 minutes
reported Ed Bradley. This effectively moves everyone who has
ever visited the site down one notch away from the "#1most
famous person who has ever visited asinine" spot.
|02|08 It shocked everyone... but who knows
exactly how it could have happened? Even Dan didn't know
Tolga's thoughts, and Tolga certainly didn't know Dans...but
one man did. And he tells his story of Four
Days for asinine.
Also, added a pictures nav.
|02|07 Finally... with all of Tallan wondering
who to pray to, the vatican announces this.
but I like to tell all the developers it is. Man that bugs them.
Dave Hackett proposed to the CSG that we show him just where
Thanx to Lynn Chau, our former (missed) NetApp designer has
put together a great presentation
of all the entries.
|02|05 "It was either them
or me": Aside from Brian"The Lady Killer"
Semprie shooting 3 girls at point blank range in the infamous
"Massacre at the Tower", paintball went great. Check
out the paintball pic's.
|02|3 Quickie: The asinine
forum is up. enjoy. I'll clean it up later. Go register
and post something.
|02|01Weight bet shocker!As
you can tell by our little splash, Dan has won the
weight bet! Tolga gave up his demanding lead in the last
moments of the 3 month long weight bet as Dan posted and incredible
8.5 pounds in 4 days to take a .25% lead over Tolga. Dan has
redeemed himself in the eyes of the bet world for continually
missing the #1 mark in grand style. More information will be
here as it trickles in. Tolga ended up with a total 45.5 lbs.
loss. That is insane. SoCal weights will come in as they are
|01|31 No honor? Again? Say it isn't so! There's
rumors that the SoCal contingent of the weight bet might consolidate
their basement rankings to equally loose in third place. This
would put Tolga and Dan, NoCal guys with the current lead, as
the winners. Are we to revisit to the soup bet which ended with
Todd and Joe opting both out of the bet, and out of honor?
Also, Matt submitted paintball
critical info for your perusal. Directions, carpooling,
Also, Asinine has broken the 2000 mark. We all simulataneously
ask the same question; "why?"
Also, Matt has called out Joe, sending taunting emails
for paintball. Joe has responded with Schwartzennerian
anger. Will a bet come of this smack talking? We dont know.
Speaking of calling people out, Phong called out Matt
for a Cup of Noodles Bet. All cup of noodles brand
noodles, 24/7, last man standing wins. Matt raised the stakes,
cutting out smoking amongst opther things. Phong agreed immediately.
Matt backed off. Will Matt take it? We await his decision.
More people confirming for
paintball. up to 21 now. I'm dissapointed the new guys "can't"
play. Clearly they are elitest and don't want to "stoop
to our level."
Asinine Warfare #4 at Paintball
Jungle is shaping up to be quite the event with 19 confirmed
and 11+ maybe's. Apparently the great stories and pics
from last time have sparked a lot of interest. It's February
4th. Be sure to email
Matt if you're interested.
Submit to me. Thank you to
the masses for submitting the following for your viewing pleasure:
Mike Wang brings us the MarketTools Pre-Rolloff Dinner pics,
and Whiny Byatch Justin sends some asininity abroad here.
And the horse you rode in on.
We have 2 new guys coming up to NetApp on Monday. How asinine
these guys will prove to be is up in the air. Lets hope they
stir up the pool a bit. Also, one of CSG's guys Dave
Hackett tied the knot last week. Congrats Dave, and my condolences
Ms. Dave. Check out the quicktime stream
of the wedding. Also, get your RSVP's into Matt for
Paintball Feb 4th.
I lagged, but we be representin' now.
Check the Halloween
Vegas Pimp n' Ho party
pics from Irvine's Diana.
Cue that Boyz II Men song.
Lynn left our NetApp family here yesterday to go grace the bench,
and my cubicle seems very very empty right now. We will all
miss her. Check out the pics
from her send-off drinking binge.
Don't ask us for the five 9's.
Welcome to our high-tech Angelfire mirror while Tolga straightens
out his DSL company. Weight area will be down till the server
is back up. Tolga will be flogged ever 15 minutes till the server
is back up. Then we will go back to our "every hour"
Site is back up. Flogging effective.
Two words...Vegas. The scourge
to our bank accounts calls once again. With 2 trips coming up,
today I finally got Clark's pics
up from the New Years
Back to the trenches... Asinine
warfare returns to Paintball
Jungle on Sunday February 4th. Last time we had about 16
people - this time we're looking for at least 20. If you know
people who would be interested forward this on. Deadline for
RSVP is Thursday the 25th. Contact Matt Allen by email
to let him know if your coming.
The best form of flattery...
I dreaded the day the rest of the CSG would discover my little
site. In the culmination of a reported Powerbook frenzy to get
the new G4's ordered for some mischievous East Coasters, "extreme-asininebehavior",
a parody of our beloved asinine, has been created.
Personalize your AIM Tallán style...I've
made a few buddy Icons to the right here ->. Just click on
them and AIM will automatically set them as your new Icon. Enjoy.
Riddle me this Batman... What do you get when you have
brilliant minds working on an asinine website? Features that
are way to cool for this joke of a site. Check out this press
release from Tolga, our resident web host:
"In the wee hours of the morning, I finished the interactive
portions of the Asinine
Behavior Weight Bet Site!
For all users, the site gives the ability to place side bets
on who will finish in a particular position. For participants,
the site lets you enter your weight info and change profile
info. Referees get to update Official Weigh-in and Weigh-out
values for all participants. Have Fun! (I'm hoping to see a
lot of side bet action :-) )"
Also, On my second day of training in CT I was in the
elevator making small talk with the other passenger. I asked
Him if he worked with BDS. He said yes. I said "great,
nice talking to you, maybe I'll see ya around." After I
got off the elevator someone asked what I was talking to Jack
Hughes about. I said, "Who?". That's the first time I met Jack,
just didn't know it. Anyway's, Jack Hughes will at Garf's in
Irvine on Tuesday@7:30. Quite the nice down to earth Millionaire.
It wouldn't even be remotely fair... How bad would NoCal
annihilate SoCal in a paintball duel? Do decimation scales even
go that high? Also,
Vegas pics are here. Just my cam though. Need those digitals
Happy New Year! Vegas was incredible. Gotta give George
Tip props for pulling together a crazy night at C2K on the dance
floor in a special VIP section. House of Blues was great too...fire
works outside, the whole 9. What an insane weekend. More to
come on that when I get the pictures back. Irvine people, be
sure to get your pics on photo disc and send em to me so I get
them on the site.
This update come to you from the beautiful Burbank airport as
I await my flight to Lost Wages...err, Los Vegas I mean. I imagine
this update won't come till after the new year, shortly after
I recover from New Years festivities.
I hope everyones Christmas was as jolly as mine. I got the pics
from Diana from Pimps &
Ho's and when I get a moment I'll post 'em. Looking forward
to going to vegas this weekend. Saturday at the private balcony
of the Venetian's C2K,
and New Years at a
Mardi Gras party in The
of Blues. (Thanks
to Jaime in Irvine for hooking all this up!)
Also, Changed spellings of Cuhbelu'z name at his request.
I finally got the story written on
the plane last night. I tried to make it descriptive enough
that you'd have some idea of what it's like to shove a raquetball
size wad of wassabi in your mouth...enjoy.
goes public?!? Asinine executives have OK'd a request from
Craig Condon for asininebehavior.com to be linked on
the Tallan Intranet. For those of you not familiar with asinine,
this site has always been a somewhat private site for the Tallan
NetApp team and some to share, which is I'm sure why some of
the more embarrassing pics up have remained up. It really is
just a little side project I threw together for fun, and it
gets updated for a few seconds a day at most. If you listen
closely you can hear the screams of Netapp project members screaming
in the distance as they realize some of these pictures are going
to be viewed from the outside...
Update: Diana of Irvine
fame has promised some pic's from the hugely successful Vegas
trip to Pimp and Ho. (A annual party for Halloween put on by
Club Rubber). Site hits should jump to about 30,000 a day.
pics are here. Oddly, no pictures of snow yet. Shawn's are
on the way soon.
bet flashback? Rumors are abound about a Mike Kabella re-try
of the milk bet. Is he insane? Consensus says yes. Absolutely.
checks in but it doesn't check out: Time to weigh in big
boys. The weight
bet area is now open. Also, Turned paintball ani
down to a non-epileptic frame rate for Matt.
like shooting a co-worker in the head to brush off some post
code-freeze tension. Be sure to check out Tolga & the frenchman's
proteria is our friend: Day 8 of the protein pact to help
Dan w/the weight bet. Looking forward to paintball
& the Heavenly
ski trip..& the alcohol laden limobus!